Burning Man 2016 – “I Have No Words”

Wow, I’m sitting here in a café after doing some yoga and indulging in a full body massage on “The Island Of The Gods”, or better known as Bali, it’s been a full week since leaving “Home” and I’m still trying to process exactly what happened at Burning Man, process it so you can at least get a grasp of the magic that is created at Black Rock City, a city built in the dust of the desert from the dreams of its inhabitants, a utopia….. but “I have no words”, there are no words that can accurately describe this marvellous event.

If Burning Man was never on your bucket list, or it’s on there but not a priority, change your list and make it NO 1.

Where do I start, The Mutant cars, elaborate fancy dress, the weird, the bizarre, the theme camps, the intricacies, THE GIFTS, it’s impossible, I HAVE NO WORDS!! Ha I have to start somewhere, anywhere just where is the question, I have no words.

Bikes at Burning Man, most people will say they are an essential, I beg to differ, I was on foot the whole week and I found a beautiful flow, almost as if I was where I needed to be, weather it was on a Mutant car that magically appeared in front of me, climbing over some cool structure or tearing up a D-Floor, it was always a continuous movement forward, with no backtracking or having to worry about anything. My Favourite 2 Mutant cars for me, were the Fun Bus, this not so amazing looking school bus looking thing and one I think was called the mirage.

THE FUN BUS… well it all started when I was meditating under this artwork of hanging gold streamers it was really chilled and the fun bus just appeared from around the corner and the tunes where my kind of jam. I was on, it was a sea of mayhem, people perfecting chaos in a party atmosphere, “Yep, I fit in perfectly” the house beats and people hanging from the rafters was just awesome. I laugh at this for after some time I went to the front of the bus to give a gratitude bow to the DJ, and then sat to have a drink just to have a breather. Next to me was this really striking woman whom I noticed that her energy was very grounded and centred she was an odd ball on this bus, due to the mayhem surrounding us, by the way mayhem is an understatement this party was going off. We were talking and I mentioned to her I think that I have had the best 40 minutes of my life on this bus, That’s when she turned to me and said “OH NO Christian, you jumped on this bus about 5 minutes after my husband started to DJ, and that was over 5 and a half hours ago” WHAT “I’ve been on this bus for 5 and a half hours!!!”  THAT’S WHAT BURNING MAN IS LIKE, TIME FLYS WHEN YOUR HAVING FUN.

THE MIRAGE… My last day during pack down of Camp Anita Cocktail I noticed this square car pull up totally covered in mirrors, for some reason I felt a pull so I grabbed a bottle of port and my chalice/goblet and I was on. WOW what I night we cruised around the playa, funky beats were playing but the beauty was I shared “The Temple Burn” with the extraordinary souls on this car. The Temple is a beautiful structure made by DAVID BEST it will be a place for the community to come and express their emotions, reflect on the losses of friends and family members, and celebrate the lives of people around them. The temple will be built with the consideration of the community, with adequate space to accommodate the needs of people in the temple and the surrounding courtyard for reflection, safety and privacy. The peace and gratitude for each other while this amazing structure was on fire was very humbling, it was a very profound moment for me, a memory that will inspire, a moment to relish in, a time in my life that will nourish my soul. Right the temples burnt time to party again, I’m grateful as these crew were awesome and the people that I saw my 40th birthday in with, from there we cruised around the playa again and then ended up in a theme camp well an English Pub, and it was, exactly like I was in a PUB in the UK. I loved this place I wasn’t drawn to go anywhere else, I was exactly where I needed to be.

Being on foot I found to be a more intimate experience as it was easier to connect with the people the play put in front of you. I remember giving “BAD ADVISE” to randoms from a Bad Advice stand for an hour, asking people to come mow our lawns or do some maintenance around a house we decided to take over in “Suburbia”, throwing testicles in Donald Trumps Mouth, getting whipped at the 7 deadly sins bar, having a naked foam shower with 100s of randoms on a dance floor, watching a hand puppet show where the narration was porn literature, exploring mazes, drinking in the Vanderbar 50 feet up in the air of the sextons tower that shoots huge fireballs from its apex (and has a zipline/flying fox off its top), sitting on a couch at the top of a scaffold tower(that was high), watching a bunch of protesters wanting “More Head” as the man didn’t have his head attached yet, finding a mutant car during a massive dust storm and ending up in a cuddle puddle under a huge blanket drinking port from my goblet and giggling like children… the list of memories is endless, I still “have no words”!!

CAMP ANITA COCKTAIL (Arno and 3:45) – WOW all I can say is wow, my home at Black Rock City, what a vibe and what a collection of people, my journey I didn’t find a more friendly dynamic atmosphere. We were a collection of 162 people representing 20 different nationalities, “THE LEAGUE OF SIHK CUNTS” hahahaha, it was rad and yes they were all SIHK CUNTS, I stumbled on this crew while at “Blazing Swan” a beautiful regional burn in Western Australia as Camp Anita cocktail has a brother camp there Papazans. Our camp gift to the Playa was 600 or so bottles of spirits, come if your in need of a cocktail, CAMP (I NEED) Anita Cocktail. I loved being “home” the energy and friendliness was beautiful. We had our bar area a spiritual tent that held yoga daily, tantric and movement workshops and had a tearoom attached to it, and also the highest “Cuddle Puddle” at Black Rock City. Ha I was laying amongst the pillows and was invited to a wedding, “Yes I want to be a part of your ceremony” it was hilarious as I watch a woman get married to a unicorn teddy bear, hahahaha I just love the randomness of Burning Man. I still “have no words”!!!

THE BURN – I shared this with 4 other people 2 other walkers I met on my journey and I’m thinking the other 2 may have made the beautiful red flag pyramid structure we sat in, it was beautiful, such a novelty to share that experience with so few, again the reason I loved being on foot, way more intimate.

Exodus- This is the name given for leaving Burning Man, with a lot of traffic all sadly leaving this event usually it’s a long ordeal, but for us 13 hours, hey, wow what a journey, in fact it was the best traffic jam I have ever been in ever, Burning Man was not stopping in this sea of RVs, Minivans and cars, parties were still in mass form, it was fantastic, one of my favourite days and also my birthday.


The pictures, videos and stories you will hear just don’t do BURNING MAN justice, you have to go to understand not only what it’s about but what it represents, it’s a revolution, a mindset where people can get along regardless of differences, a place where abundance prospers and life is a Utopia… TAKE ME HOME!!!!!!!

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